the beginning, the first slap, the first push I do not think so. Insults? But yes, perhaps due to a moment of stress and may not even have a point. They say that the fault is not never on one side. remember that girl, I think a volunteer, his words at the beginning di questi episodi, quando incredula ha iniziato a maturare in me l’idea di convivere con un violento: “Vorrei dirti che lui non è un violento, che cambierà ma non è così”.
E infatti non è cambiato. Si è solo mostrato a me poco alla volta nel suo VERO aspetto.
Ricordo i mie sensi di colpa: “forse sono io a farlo arrabbiare così tanto. Dovrei essere più accondiscendente”… finché non ho scoperto che lui si era comportato già in passato con altre ragazze come con me.
Di notte mi dicevo che le donne che scelgono o devono scegliere di restare accanto a uomini violenti hanno molto più coraggio di una come me che stava meditando di andarsene per difendere se stessa and your child. What would she have done a little baby crying at night helpless in his hands?
For my child I could not stay.
But many women choose to stay and has no idea of \u200b\u200bthe physical and psychological torture that should be. The greatest torture is know to be in a tunnel and not being able to get out.
thought that jealousy was an act of love, when in fact it was part of the disease. And then there were good times: P. could prove helpful and attentive, he knew me presents and take me out to dinner, but only needed a day like the one described above to clear all that he had tried to build up to that point. Over
these years, I sometimes faced with situations similar to the one I lived and I found some aspects common to different situations, as it will repeat the same pattern from this type of men
insults like "slut" to humiliate the woman
insults to family members to reinforce the move away from their friends and
insults on their departure from
lack of respect for the qualification of women is larger than that of man
lack of respect for the work of women
lack of respect for women in general
want to start all over again because "basically there is love, then we must constantly try again "
Years later I wanted to write these few lines to leave a message to all those women living in similar situations. I would say to them, with great humility, that you can get out of these situations. is not easy, indeed it is very difficult but what gave me the strength to do so was the love for my son. Love that exceeds that for myself. The starting point for me was asking the question: "how far can I go? Being beaten, insulted and humiliated until when? "My response was" until he does not want to hurt my son. " But I think the important non sia il punto di partenza che mi sono data io. L’importante è porsene uno.
Quel giorno, il giorno in cui ce ne siamo andati io e il mio pancione ho lasciato un uomo. Un uomo che era il padre di mio figlio e ho deciso quindi di privare mio figlio di un padre (almeno fino a quando lui non avesse voluto conoscere il padre). Un uomo del quale ero innamorata nonostante tutto.
“Sarebbe meglio se un padre ci fosse ma la vita non dev’essere una tortura per nessuno” queste sono le parole di un medico che ha visto mio figlio da piccolo.
Tralascio qui gli altri problemi che ho dovuto affrontare nello stesso periodo con la mia famiglia e il mio lavoro (è importantissimo che ogni donna possa averne uno, perché sometimes we can only rely on ourselves and if we do not work the way is more difficult).
then I had the good fortune to be exposed in that period with great people who guided me in my difficult choice. Other friends who I thought "great friends" have not proved it was these. Friends who felt "a little more than acquaintances" have proved crucial in my rebirth.
I've gained an extreme sensitivity to others. I suffer a lot more fights, quarrels and violent scenes.
I do not hate the male species: I have several male friends with whom I compare myself often.
Summing now my life is going well. Problems arise, however, but I always have this vague impression that in the end almost everything can be resolved.
I would end with an appreciation toward those fathers for their children seas and climb mountains. For those who are to raise children alone or "partially" alone. Hats off, because the reality that this would be the rule, fathers and mothers on the same level in the growth of children. But it is not so, there are many men who under the guise of separation from his wife or girlfriend even abandon their children. Those who choose instead to take care of that and still make sacrifices (because sometimes a man is "naturally" more complicated that for a woman), enjoy my esteem.
conclude by pointing out that you're never alone. If there is family, friends are and if there is they are the only structures like No more they can do better than anyone else.
